On May 23, 2008 I had lap band surgery. Now, just two short days less than 25 weeks, I found that I am down 32 pounds. So what?
There are actually several answers to the “so what” question.
I can comfortably shop in regular stores now.
I can eat in public without feeling judged.
I can get dressed in the morning without hating myself.
I can take a photo of myself and think I look good in it.
I can meet people, who I have not seen in a long time, and enjoy the experience as opposed to hating myself the entire time, for being so fat.
I can meet new people and not feel like I am wearing my food addition around my neck like a junkie carries shakes.
I can forget to mow my front lawn without worrying that my neighbours think me, fat and lazy.
I can get in bed with my husband and not worry about him thinking that I am a repulsive blob.
The big “so what” then is encompassed due to the fact that my daily experience is better. I know what you are thinking… that a lot of my suffering has come from my own judgement. You, of course, might be right, but these things have been learned by mirroring those around me and this mirror person is my voice of self loathing and now she is slightly quieter.
I think that the bitch might be starving!
Isn’t that great?
