Today, I am 42 and a half years of age, but I am only eight days into my new life. Since my new life still includes all the memories of my old life, there are some things that are bound to be different. Today, I had a new experience. It may seem like a totally ordinary run of the mill experience for some people, but for me it was something totally new and unusual. For me it was a dream come true. For me it was something I never imagined that I would ever get the opportunity to have.
What was this wonderful, interesting, new experience? You must want to know by now?
OK! OK! Here it is: I ate lunch because I felt like I should.
Are you asking yourself, what in hell I mean? I will attempt to explain.
Remember how I told you about how my brain and my stomach have been confused? They have thought that I am starving myself to death. They have been telling me from dawn to bed time that I am HUNGRY. Not just a little ordinary hungry, but HUNGRY! Every day of my life has been filled with the thought of food. A constant, nagging, droning, disgusting, fretting, terrible never-ending food dialogue. I begin planning meals in the morning before I have had my coffee…. I worry if I have shopped enough… will things turn out well… will it go together… how will I get rid of the calories… why did I eat that… I have had my life stolen by food thought.
Today was different. I woke up and drank water, had a coffee and sat chatting with my poor-long-suffering-husband. I cooked pancakes for he and the children and had a few spoons of fruit puree but this did not sit to well. We went out with the kids, stopped at the grocery store and came home at about 2:00 this afternoon. Everyone was starved (except me)! So I made these little crescent sandwiches with baby parmesan, and Montreal smoked meat on them for my husband and the kids and thought as they were eating them “I should eat”. I had not eaten the crescents, the meat or the cheese as I made the sandwiches… I had not been into the groceries… I had not had a fresh pancake with real maple syrup. I felt obligated to eat for nutrition!
I think it is a new life after all!
Did you have any new experiences today?
