Today, I am 42 and a half years of age, but I am only eight days into my new life. Since my new life still includes all the memories of my old life, there are some things that are bound to be different. Today, I had a new experience. It may seem like a totally ordinary run of the mill experience for some people, but for me it was something totally new and unusual. For me it was a dream come true. For me it was something I never imagined that I would ever get the opportunity to have.

What was this wonderful, interesting, new experience? You must want to know by now?

OK! OK! Here it is: I ate lunch because I felt like I should.

Are you asking yourself, what in hell I mean? I will attempt to explain.

Remember how I told you about how my brain and my stomach have been confused? They have thought that I am starving myself to death. They have been telling me from dawn to bed time that I am HUNGRY. Not just a little ordinary hungry, but HUNGRY! Every day of my life has been filled with the thought of food. A constant, nagging, droning, disgusting, fretting, terrible never-ending food dialogue. I begin planning meals in the morning before I have had my coffee…. I worry if I have shopped enough… will things turn out well… will it go together… how will I get rid of the calories… why did I eat that… I have had my life stolen by food thought.

Today was different. I woke up and drank water, had a coffee and sat chatting with my poor-long-suffering-husband. I cooked pancakes for he and the children and had a few spoons of fruit puree but this did not sit to well. We went out with the kids, stopped at the grocery store and came home at about 2:00 this afternoon. Everyone was starved (except me)! So I made these little crescent sandwiches with baby parmesan, and Montreal smoked meat on them for my husband and the kids and thought as they were eating them “I should eat”. I had not eaten the crescents, the meat or the cheese as I made the sandwiches… I had not been into the groceries… I had not had a fresh pancake with real maple syrup. I felt obligated to eat for nutrition!

I think it is a new life after all!

Did you have any new experiences today?

It is probably a mean thing to say, and even to think; however, filters have never been my strong suit, so here goes. I look forward to Saturdays!

I know what you are thinking… which is: “well so does everyone else, so what is the big deal”; but, I am not loving Saturday for the reasons that most people do. The fact here is that we are foster parents and the kids leave here on Saturday mornings! I love the kids! I really, really love them! Nonetheless, having been without kids for very little of my life these rare days when I can sit on my butt and think “er??? now what am I doing to do today???” and to know that it is all about me and my poor-long-suffering-husband. It is really a treat to have the opportunity to sit in and have a cuddle, go for a walk on our gorgeous water front bay here in Spamilton, Thai food, anything really with my husband and me alone is just plain wonderful! Nearly a whole day to call our own! Brilliant!

Today though, Mommie called and she has the flu that the children has last week… and of course… I don’t mind… really… but… this means that this day which is normally ours from 12:30 – 9:00 has to shift. All about the kids now, just like every other day, except they are not in school, they don’t have soccer, garden club, Brownies, environmental club, book club or anything at all… so what to do? McDonald’s playland? The park and a pic-nic? Donkey Sanctuary? hmmm? The later I think would be great! I will look it up now!

What will you do with your Saturday?